At Long Last, Never Moore

After all the media chaff/flare, all the “lack of enthusiasm in the black community” garbage hot takes, after all the normalizing of the most abnormal candidates since, well, the 2016 campaign – someone finally said “ENOUGH!”  And that someone was the good people of Alabama, who outnumbered the slugs by enough to elect Doug Jones to the US Senate over tiny pistol-carrying, gigantic (empty) hat-wearing, incompetent horse-riding, R.Kelly wannabe Roy Moore:

Doug Jones pulled off a massive upset Tuesday night, turning a Senate seat blue in a solid red state.

Jones, a former federal prosecutor, defeated Republican Roy Moore Tuesday night in a hard-fought battle that included allegations that the GOP nominee had improper sexual contact with teenage girls in the 1970s. Moore has not conceded the race and said he will wait until final numbers to see if a recount is required.

Jones received 639,088 votes – or 50 percent – to Moore’s 629,749 votes, or 49 percent.

The horse appears relieved that his time in the spotlight is coming to an end:

I AM OVERJOYED TO BE SO SUDDENLY IRRELEVANT

— Roy Moore's Horse (@RoyMooresHorse) December 13, 2017

And there’s no way in hell Dolt45 wrote this:

Congratulations to Doug Jones on a hard fought victory. The write-in votes played a very big factor, but a win is a win. The people of Alabama are great, and the Republicans will have another shot at this seat in a very short period of time. It never ends!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 13, 2017

And as usual, black women led the way:

Congratulations, everybody.

 

Should’ve Grabbed Some Silverdome Seats

So Atlanta had a mayoral race yesterday between Democratic Councilwoman Keisha Lance Bottoms and “Independent” (embarrassed Republican) Councilwoman Mary Norwood. During a discussion of the election by local news anchors, somebody decided to email in a hot take that I’d bet they thought would never get on the air. WRONG:

Regardless of her reasoning, Kathy Rae sent the following email to the show live:

“You need to be fired for the race baiting comment you made tonight. It’s okay for blacks to discuss certain subjects but not whites…Really, you are what I call a N***r not a black person. you are a racist N***r. you are what’s wrong with the world.”

What happened next was a clapback that has already been submitted to the Clapback Hall of Fame with a request to waive the five-year waiting period:

PERFECTION.

Here’s the kicker: Kathy Rae is from Flint. MICHIGAN. Yeah, that Flint. Maybe you should stick to the bottled water, Kathy Rae. No point in doing any MORE damage to your brain. Also, maybe see if any stadium seats survived the Silverdome implosion Mark II and grab one and HAVE A SEAT.