All About That Base

Human punch line and brain bleach sales generator Rick Santorum was at an event called the South Carolina National Security Action Summit yesterday when a nice retired schoolteacher proceeded to lose her damned mind.  This level of lunacy deserves to be experienced uncut, and since I’m a sharer:

Senator Santorum, thank you for being here. I’m Virginia Eleasor, a retired schoolteacher, lifelong political activist, and lifelong resident of South Carolina. I’ll ask you the same question I asked Senator Cruz. I’ll preface it by saying—Michele Bachman, I think it was king said that Boehner made a deal.

My question’s on defending this country. Thank you for what you do for national security. I’m concerned with sealing these borders and protecting United States. I’ve fought that battle all my life. And I’m losing, and it’s because I’m not getting help from my Congress.

And anyway, Michele Bachmann and King, in an interview on one station said that Boehner made a deal with Obama back in September to be on board with his executive amnesty. The American people put Republicans back in office in the House and the Senate and the two things we asked y’all to do was shut down Obama’s executive amnesty and shut down Obamacare. And you didn’t. You let us down on both issues.

Why is the Congress rolling over and lettin’ this Communist dictator destroy my country? Y’all know what he is and I know what he is. I want him out of the White House. He’s not a citizen. He could’ve been removed a long time ago. Larry Cleveland’s the one who got the judge to say that the executive amnesty is illegal. Everything he does is illegal. He’s trying to destroy the United States. The Congress knows this. What kind of games is the Congress of the United States playing with the citizens of the United States?

Y’all need to work for us, not for the lobbyists that pay your salaries.

Get on board. Well let’s stop all this and get save America.

Y’know, what’s goin’ on Senator Santorum.

Where do we go from here? Ted told me I’ve got to wait now till the next election. I don’t think the country will be around for the next election.

Obama tried to blow up a nuke in Charleston a few months ago and the three Admirals and Generals. He has totally destroyed our military. He has fired all the Generals and all the Admirals who said they wouldn’t fire on the American people if they ask ‘em to do so if he wanted to take the guns away from ‘em. This man is a Communist dictator. We need him out of the White House now. And the Congress of the United States is the only one — we’ve lost our Congress. We’ve lost our executive.

Let that marinate for a minute, and then consider that this lady used to teach children.

The best thing that the South Carolina National Security Action Summit could do to actually enhance national security is to evac all the sane people out of the state, then wall itself in.

UPDATE: VIDEO!

UPDATE THE SECOND: Here’s his “response”:

“I’m not a sitting member of the Senate, so I’m not taking blame for any of that stuff,” he said. “But you hit on one point to which I absolutely agree: this is a complete lack of leadership.”

In a properly functioning country, that statement would be this idiot’s political epitaph.  As it is, he could probably use it as a campaign slogan and make it work.

The Vagina Moron Logs

Ridiculously late in getting to this, but I’ve been laughing too hard to type:

Republican State Representative Vito Barbieri from the state of Idaho thinks that a woman’s vagina has some sort of direct passageway to her stomach because, I mean, how else does the pee come out?

This rather impressive display of anatomical ignorance (h/t Salon) came during a Idaho House State Affairs Committee hearing where the members heard testimony on a bill that “would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.”

Barbieri asked whether it would be possible for a woman to swallow a small camera, so that doctors might perform a remote gynecological examination (presumably, à la capsule endoscopy).

Dr Julie Madsen was testifying in opposition to the bill when Barbieri asked the question.  Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina.

“Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter.

FASCINATING???!? Negative.

spocksmile

This dunce probably thinks “Fantastic Voyage” was a documentary, too.

(h/t io9 and Jezebel)

Soap Is For Socialists

Just when you think the depths of stupidity can go no lower, here comes Thom Tillis:

In a week packed with news over concerns for public health, Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC) described his own history of opposing certain health and hygiene regulations, including those that require employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom.
During a Q&A at the Bipartisan Policy Center on Monday, Tillis related a story from his time in the state legislature in 2010, complaining that the U.S. is “one of the most regulated nations in the history of the planet,” video via C-SPAN shows.

“I was having a discussion with someone, and we were at a Starbucks in my district, and we were talking about certain regulations where I felt like ‘maybe you should allow businesses to opt out,'” the senator said.

Tillis said his interlocutor was in disbelief, and asked whether he thought businesses should be allowed to “opt out” of requiring employees to wash their hands after using the restroom.

The senator said he’d be fine with it, so long as businesses made this clear in “advertising” and “employment literature.”

“I said: ‘I don’t have any problem with Starbucks if they choose to opt out of this policy as long as they post a sign that says “We don’t require our employees to wash their hands after leaving the restroom,” Tillis said.

“The market will take care of that,” he added, to laughter from the audience.

Wrapping up the Q&A, the moderator joked to Tillis, “I’m not sure I’m gonna shake your hand.”

Good call, moderator.

This approaches Jim Hoft levels of stupid.

Also, go check out #TillisSigns.  You’re welcome.

SOTU 2015

President Obama delivered the 2015 State Of The Union address last night, here it is in its entirety:

I absolutely LOVED:

  • He used actual facts and figures again.  It’s nice to see actual data laid out, doesn’t matter that the Press Corpse and the seditionists will either ignore or lie about it – they do that anyway.
  • The Neo-Confederates sat on their hands over EVERY SINGLE POSITIVE that got brought up. They just can’t help themselves.  “Loyal” opposition my ass. Speaking of which…
  • The single biggest source of their (and the media’s) hatred of him, I’m glad he called them on it.
  • They couldn’t make him 3/5 of a person, but they did roll out FIVE separate “responses” to him. The best thing you could say about them was that Joni Breadbags inexplicably managed NOT to castrate a pig.
  • The angry old guy channel finally got called out for what they are, real subtle-like:

(Hint: There’s a word missing from that placard – the same thing missing from the content that the network in question produces.  NEWS.)

I hope President Obama keeps this up – the GOP 2016 clown car bus double-decker bus isn’t anywhere near full yet!