All About That Base

Human punch line and brain bleach sales generator Rick Santorum was at an event called the South Carolina National Security Action Summit yesterday when a nice retired schoolteacher proceeded to lose her damned mind.  This level of lunacy deserves to be experienced uncut, and since I’m a sharer:

Senator Santorum, thank you for being here. I’m Virginia Eleasor, a retired schoolteacher, lifelong political activist, and lifelong resident of South Carolina. I’ll ask you the same question I asked Senator Cruz. I’ll preface it by saying—Michele Bachman, I think it was king said that Boehner made a deal.

My question’s on defending this country. Thank you for what you do for national security. I’m concerned with sealing these borders and protecting United States. I’ve fought that battle all my life. And I’m losing, and it’s because I’m not getting help from my Congress.

And anyway, Michele Bachmann and King, in an interview on one station said that Boehner made a deal with Obama back in September to be on board with his executive amnesty. The American people put Republicans back in office in the House and the Senate and the two things we asked y’all to do was shut down Obama’s executive amnesty and shut down Obamacare. And you didn’t. You let us down on both issues.

Why is the Congress rolling over and lettin’ this Communist dictator destroy my country? Y’all know what he is and I know what he is. I want him out of the White House. He’s not a citizen. He could’ve been removed a long time ago. Larry Cleveland’s the one who got the judge to say that the executive amnesty is illegal. Everything he does is illegal. He’s trying to destroy the United States. The Congress knows this. What kind of games is the Congress of the United States playing with the citizens of the United States?

Y’all need to work for us, not for the lobbyists that pay your salaries.

Get on board. Well let’s stop all this and get save America.

Y’know, what’s goin’ on Senator Santorum.

Where do we go from here? Ted told me I’ve got to wait now till the next election. I don’t think the country will be around for the next election.

Obama tried to blow up a nuke in Charleston a few months ago and the three Admirals and Generals. He has totally destroyed our military. He has fired all the Generals and all the Admirals who said they wouldn’t fire on the American people if they ask ‘em to do so if he wanted to take the guns away from ‘em. This man is a Communist dictator. We need him out of the White House now. And the Congress of the United States is the only one — we’ve lost our Congress. We’ve lost our executive.

Let that marinate for a minute, and then consider that this lady used to teach children.

The best thing that the South Carolina National Security Action Summit could do to actually enhance national security is to evac all the sane people out of the state, then wall itself in.

UPDATE: VIDEO!

UPDATE THE SECOND: Here’s his “response”:

“I’m not a sitting member of the Senate, so I’m not taking blame for any of that stuff,” he said. “But you hit on one point to which I absolutely agree: this is a complete lack of leadership.”

In a properly functioning country, that statement would be this idiot’s political epitaph.  As it is, he could probably use it as a campaign slogan and make it work.

The 47 – Why It’s Time To Prosecute

By now most of us non-Neo-Confederates have had more than a belly full of the nonsense surrounding that letter that 47 seditionist, humor-challengeduninformed, and/or just plain stupid GOP senators signed and sent off to Teheran.  This was just the latest in a series of infantile actions by the so-called “loyal opposition,” and in my view, the straw that should have broken the camel’s back.  It is time – no, damned well PAST TIME – for the full force of the law to descend upon these feudal lord wannabees masquerading as statesmen.  Here’s why – the Republican Party as a whole has been on a 7-year-plus-long shit fit, unable and unwilling to accept the fact that Barack Obama was elected to the Presidency instead of a) a bitter old codger with delusions of empire and judgement more befitting a cartoon villain, and b) the living embodiment of a mirror universe version of Thurston Howell III, only even MORE clueless.  They’ve engaged in actions specifically designed to destroy not only the public trust in the federal government, but to destabilize, delegitimize and ultimately destroy the government itself.

Despite the escalating nature of their actions, and despite the fact that had the roles been reversed, every Democratic legislator would be sitting in Guantanamo Bay right now, the GOP has paid NO PRICE WHATSOEVER for what they’ve done.  They’ve been held accountable for NOTHING. They’ve shut down the government, then complained that government services weren’t available to them – and they weren’t held accountable.  They’ve gerrymandered their way to majorities in a number of states, kicking scores of legally eligible voters off the rolls in the process – and they weren’t held accountable.  They’ve given a wink and a nod to seditionist nullifiers like Cliven Bundy, wrung their hands while both law enforcement officers and private citizens have assassinated men, women, AND children with few prosecutions and even fewer convictions – and they weren’t held accountable. And now, they’re interfering with foreign policy and coming dangerously close to starting a war that neither they nor their progeny will get within a light year of – and they haven’t been held accountable.

Notice something?  They haven’t been held accountable, and they KEEP DOING STUPID STUFF.

So I have an idea.

How about making these reprobates fully understand the law they’re sworn to uphold yet don’t understand (specifically the Logan Act), AND HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT THEY’VE DONE?

You know, just to see if it would work.

The Vagina Moron Logs

Ridiculously late in getting to this, but I’ve been laughing too hard to type:

Republican State Representative Vito Barbieri from the state of Idaho thinks that a woman’s vagina has some sort of direct passageway to her stomach because, I mean, how else does the pee come out?

This rather impressive display of anatomical ignorance (h/t Salon) came during a Idaho House State Affairs Committee hearing where the members heard testimony on a bill that “would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.”

Barbieri asked whether it would be possible for a woman to swallow a small camera, so that doctors might perform a remote gynecological examination (presumably, à la capsule endoscopy).

Dr Julie Madsen was testifying in opposition to the bill when Barbieri asked the question.  Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina.

“Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter.

FASCINATING???!? Negative.

spocksmile

This dunce probably thinks “Fantastic Voyage” was a documentary, too.

(h/t io9 and Jezebel)

Soap Is For Socialists

Just when you think the depths of stupidity can go no lower, here comes Thom Tillis:

In a week packed with news over concerns for public health, Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC) described his own history of opposing certain health and hygiene regulations, including those that require employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom.
During a Q&A at the Bipartisan Policy Center on Monday, Tillis related a story from his time in the state legislature in 2010, complaining that the U.S. is “one of the most regulated nations in the history of the planet,” video via C-SPAN shows.

“I was having a discussion with someone, and we were at a Starbucks in my district, and we were talking about certain regulations where I felt like ‘maybe you should allow businesses to opt out,'” the senator said.

Tillis said his interlocutor was in disbelief, and asked whether he thought businesses should be allowed to “opt out” of requiring employees to wash their hands after using the restroom.

The senator said he’d be fine with it, so long as businesses made this clear in “advertising” and “employment literature.”

“I said: ‘I don’t have any problem with Starbucks if they choose to opt out of this policy as long as they post a sign that says “We don’t require our employees to wash their hands after leaving the restroom,” Tillis said.

“The market will take care of that,” he added, to laughter from the audience.

Wrapping up the Q&A, the moderator joked to Tillis, “I’m not sure I’m gonna shake your hand.”

Good call, moderator.

This approaches Jim Hoft levels of stupid.

Also, go check out #TillisSigns.  You’re welcome.

At Least They’re No Longer Pretending

Well, 2015 is off to a rousing start:

Meanwhile, the media is all about keeping us informed:

It’s going to be a looooonnnnng couple of years.